A Final Lamentation
by Brooke Winchester
Summary: As he dies, Severus thinks of her, his only reason for living. Lily. Implied LilyJames. Rated for mild language.


A/N: Greetings, World! It's Brooke here. As soon as I learned about our dear little Sevvie's love for Lily, it broke my heart into about a bajillion pieces and I had to write something about them. So here is an uber-short fic about Sev and Lily – my first one:D

Disclaimer: I do not own the "Harry Potter" series, or any of the characters, plot devices, etc. therein. This is a work of fiction and any similarities to existing places and/or persons is completely unintentional.

Dedicated to Mandy-Boo, my bestest friend, without whom I would have never plucked up the courage to publish a fic. (After THREE YEARS, I've finally done it, girl! No more procrastination and excuses! Huzzah for me!) Also to the wonderful man who came to give me a new master password after I forgot my old one. Without you, I couldn't have even installed NeoOffice. Geek Squad Guy, I hardly knew ye.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Lily was your best friend. She knew about everything that no one else knew about: the constant arguments your parents would have, how you frightened yourself sometimes, and how you're pretty sure you'd kill your father, if you had the chance. Lily understood all of it, and she had never judged you.

The only problem, then, was Hogwarts. It was pure irony, really, that you were scared of that place; because it was the one thing you and Lily had hoped for and dreamt about, and it was the one place you dreaded would tear the two of you apart.

Your entire family had been in Slytherin. You hoped, wished and prayed fervently that that would be where Lily would end up, too, but you knew that she was too good and pure and innocent to be in the same house as the Dark Lord. Her infallible bravery would probably ensure her a spot in Gryffindor; but you wouldn't have been surprised if she ended up in Ravenclaw, with her brains.

You tried not to think of that too often.

But then you got to Hogwarts, and your theory was proven right. She made friends who were far more worthy of her than you had ever been. She laughed with them, sometimes _just_ the way she would laugh with you, and it was then that you really wanted to hurt those friends of hers. You were incredibly jealous.

Then there were those four boys who absolutely _tortured_ you, with whom you could only hope (despite her fervent protests) that she wasn't friends with. You wondered about them, and wondered how such repugnant persons ever managed to end up in the same house as your angel.

You also wondered when in hell you started calling Lily your angel.

Then there was that one, horrid day when they humiliated you in front of _her_. Her pity was more than you could stand, so you _tried_ to be strong and you _tried_ to be a man, tried to make it seem like what they thought didn't _matter_. You did this by lashing out horribly – and did the word _mudblood_ escape your lips? you thought with a shudder – before you realized that you were lashing out at your beloved Lily, your angel, and you felt you'd rather have died than have seen her _almost-not-quite_ crying like she was, because of you.

It was never quite the same after that, and she told you to _never speak to her again_, so you didn't.

You heard about her again, years and years later, when you were spying and lying and killing people, and Lily would have been _so_ disappointed. _Lily Potter has gone missing._

And had to go and marry that prat, Potter, and go and get herself involved with the _Dark Lord_, of all people. Was she not supposed to be better off _without_ you?

And, on another note, screw Potter. She'd _always_ be Lily Evans to you.

Later, she died, and it had been _all_ your fault. You would have gone and killed yourself if Dumbledore hadn't needed you; even though you didn't give care about the _plan_ or the _Dark Lord_ anymore.

You waited and waited and waited for her son and, as bothersome as he was – and as much as he reminded you of that smug _bastard_, James – she had absolutely, unequivocally adored that boy. So you felt obliged to protect him, for her.

And also, he reminds you of her, so he _can't_ be murdered, otherwise she really would be gone. He has her eyes.

The years went by, and you fought and _fought_, just for her; your Lily, your _angel_ who you _killed_.

And now you lie here dying, knowing you'll be with her soon and knowing she'll forgive you and you'll be _best_ friends, just like the good days. Everything about her is your last thought, which altogether makes your last moments sweeter.

And you know that, if your existence has given Lily Evans one shred of happiness, your life has been undeniably worth living.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: Well, there it was! Hope you enjoyed. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. If y'all want me to write more Sev/Lily, I'll gladly do it, but be warned: it probably won't be happy. I mean, unless I get a request for a happy Sev/Lily, it's probably not gonna happen.

Adieu, readers! Happy ficcing!


End file.
